I had to be at work today at 4 a.m. Where I work isn't necessarily the best neighborhood. I have to go through NW 79th st right off 95 and go east towards the beach a.k.a. North Bay Village. There are always these bums that hang out at the light right off the exit and beg for money. Considering the time I was headed to work (3 a.m.) I made sure my doors were locked. I always try to avoid the bums that wait so patiently for a stopping car at the light. It just scares me to have someone (who looks like a crackhead) walk up to my car (Being I am the only person at the light) and beg. I usually take the red lights in bad neighborhoods because I don't feel safe stopped alone in the darkness. Anyways, today was different. I actually waited for the green light. The same bum who is always there was there. He looked over at me ( I could see him through the corner of my eye) and when he saw I made no eye contact, he turned around and continued his business. (looked like he was eating something.) I usually avoid making eye contact with bums to avoid them approaching me. So when I saw he turned around, I stared at him. I was thinking about random things that related to him (why he's there, how much it sucks..etc). I had questions that I have always wanted to ask a bum. He noticed me looking at him and seemed kind of hesitant to wheel his way over to me. We exchanged stares. I couldn't help but feel bad for the guy when I saw the he was actually eating something and perhaps just this one time this bum was really hungry and wanted money for food. (which made me feel really guilty about throwing away a publix sub prior to leaving my house this morning.)
So I started scrambling through my purse and he must've have seen what my intentions were because he came over to me. I pulled my window ALL the way down, smiled and gave him what ever change I had in my wallet. All of it. He smiled and said "Oh ma'm thank you so much. God bless you. Thank you for taking the time to help me. Thank you. I have aids and I'm dieing. Thank you for helping me. God is watching you and has seen the good you've done today." I replied with a smile "no problem, thank you." Then we sat there in awkward silence for about 12 seconds, then he said, "My name is Michael. What's yours?" and I replied with "Jackie. Nice to meet you Michael. My brother's name is Michael." The light then turned green and he saluted me and said thank you for the last time.
I have to admit. It felt really nice. That was the first time I had ever given him money. It wasn't as scary as I thought it would be. I wish I could have chatted with him longer but I had to work. Besides that, like I said, the area isn't a good neighborhood. I was happy to have helped him and somewhat confront my fear. Now I don't have to take the red lights anymore..
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