http://abcnews.go.com/US/wirestory?id=11845131&page=1
I came across an article that made me upset and wonder when does behavior like this even start.
I started thinking about my own experience growing up. I remember all of my ex-boyfriend's fathers were all male chauvinists. Men grow up with a different mentality than women. Women are taught to be loving and caring embracing all the wonderful features that are naturally within women. Men on the other hand are taught to not be afraid. To embrace their 'cavemen' animal like behavior. (Even there I am stereotyping). Men must not cry or show weakness. This is the mentality most men I have known are raised with. Being that most of my Ex's fathers were Hispanic has made me believe that most men are brought up like this. In Miami there are so many gay bars and people or groups who openly embrace their sexualities. It's normal for me to walk down the street and see a gay couple or lesbian couple. In most states across the nation this 'freedom of expression' to which we are all entitled to isn't so free. This kind of behavior starts at home, primarily with the father. Men need to understand it's okay to be sensitive. It's okay to show feelings. Men are naturally strong. Just because you're gay doesn't make you any weaker than the man next to you. Don't judge him because of his sexuality.
Monday, October 11, 2010
Monday, October 4, 2010
I did an experiment..
I was in Orlando over the weekend and I was wearing a shaw (looks like a hijab) and I decided I would place it over my head to cover my hair the way muslims do. I wanted to see how people would look at me. To see if they would treat me any different. I went to cracker barrel with a group of 10 friends wearing my shaw. They sat me and my group in different tables. I could feel everyones eyes on me. A few people pointed. Usually when you sit at a restaurant you get bread and drinks first. They didn't bring it till 20 mins later. When they brought bread, they didn't bring us plates. When we asked for it the waitress shrugged her shoulders and said "oh i'm sorry. i don't know what to tell ya" and walked away. The party that came with us who sat in another table ate and got there check before we even got our food. Considering both tables set our orders at the same time. We got our food an hour and a half later. WE ended up complaining to the manager and got our food on the house. The place didn't seem busy so I don't believe it was because of that. I don't even know if it was because of what I was wearing. Point is, I felt uncomfortable and unwanted.
I did this as an experiment just to see how others around me would react and treat me.
Tuesday, September 7, 2010
"'Those people' cant tell you apart, either" opinion
My first impression of the first article was "who can't tell me apart?" Before I read on I thought about it for a second. Then I started to think about the other day at the nail salon. I've been going to this nail salon for about a year. I'm not a loyal customer cause I visit other nail salons in the city. All these salons have one thing in common: it's owned my asians, chinese, vietnamese. I really can't tell them apart. They're language sound the same to me. Their eyes are slanted. They have dark hair and fare skin. These articles made me think about something I never really thought of before. It made me realize, that they too can't tell me apart from the rest of my 'kind'. It's called cross-race-effect.
I felt a little offended. I really dislike people automatically assuming that I am Hispanic. I don't like racial profiling. A pet peeve of mine is people talking to me in spanish when I ask something in English. It may sound silly but it annoys me. I feel like I am a part of that hispanic stereotype. Hispanics maybe exotic, sexy and known for their curves but they don't have the best reputation. At least cubans don't. They're known for their ignorance, vulgar language, their loud tones and the list goes on. Needless to say that I know some of this is true. I've at least experienced one of these. I don't want to be assimilated to these 'kind' of people. As a matter of fact when in high school I spoke the least I had to in spanish. I didn't want to be a part of what we called 'reffy group'. I was young and immature and in high school status mattered. It was about who you were friends with.
These articles are an eye opener. If you really think about it at some point you've said to yourself 'they all look the same to me'. I've done it numerous times about all the races that aren't of my own. I couldn't tell an Arab from a Pakistani or a guatemalan from a honduran. No offense. I don't expect someone to think I'm cuban or what ever you think I am. I don't really think this will ever change because it's what sets us apart from our neighbors. Cubans are proud to be cubans, americans are proud to be americans. We grow up with pride of our nationalities (most of us). Personally, I don't have an array of friends from suppose 10 nationalities. The people i'm usually around are friends and family. All from different nationalities. But they're hispanic and mulato. I've known them for years, I'm comfortable with them and I'm lazy when it comes to making new friends. It's hard for me to trust anyone.
I felt a little offended. I really dislike people automatically assuming that I am Hispanic. I don't like racial profiling. A pet peeve of mine is people talking to me in spanish when I ask something in English. It may sound silly but it annoys me. I feel like I am a part of that hispanic stereotype. Hispanics maybe exotic, sexy and known for their curves but they don't have the best reputation. At least cubans don't. They're known for their ignorance, vulgar language, their loud tones and the list goes on. Needless to say that I know some of this is true. I've at least experienced one of these. I don't want to be assimilated to these 'kind' of people. As a matter of fact when in high school I spoke the least I had to in spanish. I didn't want to be a part of what we called 'reffy group'. I was young and immature and in high school status mattered. It was about who you were friends with.
These articles are an eye opener. If you really think about it at some point you've said to yourself 'they all look the same to me'. I've done it numerous times about all the races that aren't of my own. I couldn't tell an Arab from a Pakistani or a guatemalan from a honduran. No offense. I don't expect someone to think I'm cuban or what ever you think I am. I don't really think this will ever change because it's what sets us apart from our neighbors. Cubans are proud to be cubans, americans are proud to be americans. We grow up with pride of our nationalities (most of us). Personally, I don't have an array of friends from suppose 10 nationalities. The people i'm usually around are friends and family. All from different nationalities. But they're hispanic and mulato. I've known them for years, I'm comfortable with them and I'm lazy when it comes to making new friends. It's hard for me to trust anyone.
Class thus far..
In class we've discussed the stereotypes we carry inside. I think a lot of us grew up hearing and believing a lot of these stereotypes and whether we openly admit to it or not, we too are of that group who categorize and stereotype.
I come from a Hispanic family. In my family there were plenty of racial comments said and stereotypes believed. The biggest of the issues was to never date anyone outside our culture or skin color. Cuban or cuban American was accepted. Did I ever listen? No. My grandmother couldn't practice what she preached (she had my aunt whose father is mulato) Neither did my mother or her brother. Both dated mulatos and my cousin is actually half mulato cuban.I dated a mulato myself, he was Dominican.
I remember when I was younger, whenever my mom drove by downtown or any rural area that seemed to be ghetto she made it a point to lock the doors. Granted, I grew up around the little havana area. More around Miami high to be exact. It wasn't the best of neighborhoods. The scariest incident I can remember happening to me and my mother in that neighborhood was getting robbed. One night when I was walking home with my grandmother and mother in hand, a black male who came from behind us, jumped my grandmother and stole her purse. My mom chased after him but never caught him. Our rent money was in that purse and now in his possession. It was a loss for us and a tough time. It was scary and did make me afraid of black people growing up. But it wasn't all blacks. Just the ones who look mean. Again, another stereotype.
I will admit and I am completely guilty of stereotyping. I judge people from the second I meet them. I really believe in first impressions. Our image is the first thing people see. The way we carry ourselves makes lasting impressions everywhere we go. What we put out is what we want others to immediately see. If you don't want it seen, then don't display it. But our first impressions can bite us in the ass. There have been plenty of times where I have judged someone and assumed they were a certain way and they turned out to be the complete opposite.
Here are some stereotypes I can think of that I have heard from my fam. thus far:
-Cuban men are possesive, jealous male chauvinist who think women have to do it all.
-Indians (from central America) are stupid. Puerto Ricans fall into this category too.
-Women should take care of their man. (cook, clean, feed, nurture them)
-Cubans are loud and ignorant
-Blacks like fried chicken, cool aid, and grape juice
-Jews own business
-Jews all have big noses(someone asked me where I was from? his answer : Jewish)
-Jews are cheap
-Asians have small penis, are smart and good with numbers. Usually turn out to be scientists or docs.
-"once you go black you never go back"
-All italians are mob related and guiddos
-French people don't shower or shave (heard that ladies, HAIR IS HOT)
-Haitian men are dominating
-Arabs drive taxi cabs
-Indians own quicki marts and gas stations
-Russians are drunks
.........okay, so now that we've heard some of them, which ones do we believe are true?
When we did the staffing exercise, a lot of us put the Asian for the financial job. I do believe that Asians are smart. The reason for it? Whenever I pickup a prescription from my Walgreen pharmacy the attendant is Asian. In school, a lot of the people I see wearing the white coats are Asian. I think that these stereotypes are true to some degree. At some point I believe we have encountered one of the above stereotypes.
I think this class will be very interesting and fun to hear everyone's different opinions!
I come from a Hispanic family. In my family there were plenty of racial comments said and stereotypes believed. The biggest of the issues was to never date anyone outside our culture or skin color. Cuban or cuban American was accepted. Did I ever listen? No. My grandmother couldn't practice what she preached (she had my aunt whose father is mulato) Neither did my mother or her brother. Both dated mulatos and my cousin is actually half mulato cuban.I dated a mulato myself, he was Dominican.
I remember when I was younger, whenever my mom drove by downtown or any rural area that seemed to be ghetto she made it a point to lock the doors. Granted, I grew up around the little havana area. More around Miami high to be exact. It wasn't the best of neighborhoods. The scariest incident I can remember happening to me and my mother in that neighborhood was getting robbed. One night when I was walking home with my grandmother and mother in hand, a black male who came from behind us, jumped my grandmother and stole her purse. My mom chased after him but never caught him. Our rent money was in that purse and now in his possession. It was a loss for us and a tough time. It was scary and did make me afraid of black people growing up. But it wasn't all blacks. Just the ones who look mean. Again, another stereotype.
I will admit and I am completely guilty of stereotyping. I judge people from the second I meet them. I really believe in first impressions. Our image is the first thing people see. The way we carry ourselves makes lasting impressions everywhere we go. What we put out is what we want others to immediately see. If you don't want it seen, then don't display it. But our first impressions can bite us in the ass. There have been plenty of times where I have judged someone and assumed they were a certain way and they turned out to be the complete opposite.
Here are some stereotypes I can think of that I have heard from my fam. thus far:
-Cuban men are possesive, jealous male chauvinist who think women have to do it all.
-Indians (from central America) are stupid. Puerto Ricans fall into this category too.
-Women should take care of their man. (cook, clean, feed, nurture them)
-Cubans are loud and ignorant
-Blacks like fried chicken, cool aid, and grape juice
-Jews own business
-Jews all have big noses(someone asked me where I was from? his answer : Jewish)
-Jews are cheap
-Asians have small penis, are smart and good with numbers. Usually turn out to be scientists or docs.
-"once you go black you never go back"
-All italians are mob related and guiddos
-French people don't shower or shave (heard that ladies, HAIR IS HOT)
-Haitian men are dominating
-Arabs drive taxi cabs
-Indians own quicki marts and gas stations
-Russians are drunks
.........okay, so now that we've heard some of them, which ones do we believe are true?
When we did the staffing exercise, a lot of us put the Asian for the financial job. I do believe that Asians are smart. The reason for it? Whenever I pickup a prescription from my Walgreen pharmacy the attendant is Asian. In school, a lot of the people I see wearing the white coats are Asian. I think that these stereotypes are true to some degree. At some point I believe we have encountered one of the above stereotypes.
I think this class will be very interesting and fun to hear everyone's different opinions!
Wednesday, September 1, 2010
moderate preference for white-europeans over blacks
So according to my results to a harvard poll I willingly took, I prefer white europeans over black African american. I strongly agree. That doesn't mean that I don't find black men attractive. I come from a hispanic family where they strongly believe I should be with a spanish american white guy. That doesn't go to say that certain relatives haven't dated outside our race. I grew up in a single family home and my mother never told me who I could or couldn't date. It was never an issue or a topic of discussion. Things were different when she married my stepfather. He'd joke around saying that he wouldn't want me to marry someone out of my race. Especially a black guy. I'd just laugh and think 'what would he do if I did?' And no I never have. Though.. the curiosity remains. I think were all interracial. Somewhere in our family's, at least mine, were mixed. Heck, I don't even know what I am. ha. NO, I do. Word is I'm cuban, spaniard, Lebanese. Yeah, I know. I feel like an ingredient. lol.
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